"What's In A Game?"

an annotated epic limerick

Most find video games entertaining,
But some people just won't stop complaining,
 Like Jack Thompson, who claims,
 "When the kids play these games,
It's as if they receive murder training."

To the video games, he objects,
Saying, "Kids shouldn't see violence and sex,
 So these games with a gun
 Shouldn't be thought of as fun,
Since they have more malicious effects."

Grand Theft Auto's his biggest complaint,
Where developers showed no restraint.
 You can carjack and kill,
 Purchase hookers at will,
And act generally not like a saint.

But the value in Thompson's case slims
When he rails against games like The Sims,
 Where the worst to occur
 Is a blank spot or blur
On the place where one tells hers from hims.

Jack writes letters where he will demand
That these games never reach a kid's hand.
 But he then fulminates,
 Threatens those like Bill Gates,
Since by Microsoft new games are planned.

Walsh from NIMF then opined,
"Our friend Jack has stepped over the line.
 Though bad games we oppose
 His extremism shows
That we don't want his name linked with mine."

But Jack Thompson had hardly begun.
He declared, "I challenge anyone
 To make this new game build:
 Game-producers get killed.
I'll donate ten grand if it gets done."

Though he said violence shouldn't be a game,
He then offered up cash for the same.
 And though game companies
 Can't produce for those fees,
Gamers thought it a worthwhile aim.

So they made a game, as he detailed,
Text adventure where games are assailed.
 They thought it would be great
 If the man would donate,
But when time came to pay up, Jack failed.

Then from nowhere, to rescue the day,
Two big gamers decided to pay.
 They'd donated before,
 Given cash, games, and more
To kid's hospitals through Child's Play.

These two gamers, from Penny Arcade,
Thought the charity ought to be paid.
 So they said, "What the heck,"
 And they wrote their own check,
Even though Jack was on a tirade.

So the moral, we see with great clarity:
Certain people will donate to charity.
 Others simply attack,
 Which has made me think, Jack,
'Twixt your money and mouth there's disparity.

So, I wrote this piece in October 2005. It was a cool little epic limerick which I sent off to my old paper and asked if they'd print it. They didn't write back, so after a week and a half I wrote to them and said, "Since you aren't using it, I'm gonna annotate it and post it on my site." The next morning, I got an email, "No, we're gonna use it, just haven't found a spot for it yet." So, I took it down from my site, as so not to have it here while it was there. Well, they didn't end up running it until January 2006. But, they did finally run it, and now that it has run and finished their availability cycle, I present the annotated limerick.

All work on this page is copyright Seth Brown, 2005. Please give attribution if forwarding. Don't reprint for profit without permission. Don't eat yellow snow. Go play a nice video game.