Yes, April was National Poetry Month. So, in addition to participating in a few local poetry slams and open mics, I once again signed up for WordXWord’s 30/30 Poetry Challenge, a site where I (and many other poets) produced a poem a day every day during April. It has been pointed out that if I were a capital-P Poet*, I would produce a poem a day every day all year round, or at least if I were a capital-W Writer, I would do some creative writing every day all year round. But as I oft lack this motivation, April was good for me to get me writing more often**.

Admittedly, maybe only half of those daily poems were of any substantial length, and I probably wrote about a dozen of them as haiku. But this isn’t always bad. Actually, one of my favorite poems came from a prompt where I spent a long time writing a poem, became frustrated with it, and threw the poem away, deciding to write a haiku about that instead, which I will share here:

sadly, a bow drawn
on a second fiddle string
sounds just like a whine

Other poems of mine (and many other poets as well) are available on the site linked above. Naturally, I have continued writing my column this month as well, and so if you would like to read about Laundry Day (and a terrible pun) or The Invention of Meals, I encourage you to do so.

On the gaming front, I’ve got a review up about Road Rally USA, which is a reasonable light racing game but not my cuppa. I’ve been playing more Innovation, which is totally my cuppa, and I continue to think it’s a brilliant game. And I tried a 4-player co-op video game called Monaco, which is basically like an 8-bit Oceans Eleven — or the way my group plays, a Keystone Cops meets the Four Stooges heist movie. Either way, pretty entertaining. And lest I forget, Legend of the Cipher continues to not get very much press, but people who try it tend to like it, and people who take a look tend to be intrigued, most recently the gamer geeks over at Shut Up & Sit Down, who mention it in their latest round-up.

Tonight, I am off to another story slam at WordXWord, where I will tell the audience about a weird food I ate this weekend***. And then tomorrow it will be May, a month where I haven’t signed up for any particular enumerated challenge, but should really try to write more regularly nonetheless.

*e.e.cummings, of course, never had to worry about such things.

**Not to mention bringing together an International community of poets. There’s something cool about having a random highschool student from Malaysia say that she liked your poetry.

***Which, oddly enough, was from Malaysia. What can I say, I like living in an international world where ideas, art, and food can be freely shared and exchanged.

Yes, I know, I should be assembling a more proper Holiday Gift Guide like I did in 2010 so you can buy stuff from my friends. But between empty Etsy storefronts and my own laziness, all I’ll do is point you to that link, rather than try to compile a new list for this year. By next year, there will be enough new products made by friends that I will make a new list. I promise.

Meanwhile, there are worse places to start for holiday gifts than my own books. You can click on the big heading above that says “Books” in fancy font (or HERE), and see summaries of all five. The newest, It Happened In Rhode Island, was officially released at the beginning of this month. It is a series of true stories about historical events that happened in Rhode Island.* These range temporally from the first settlers before the state was officially founded, to last year. They also range in seriousness from a Titanic-like tragedy, to Bob Dylan swapping his acoustic guitar for an electric one.

Naturally, my four other books remain available for purchase. From God To Verse is a line-by-line rhyming translation of the first five books of the Torah/Bible, making it a perfect holiday gift for your religious friends. Rhode Island Curiosities is not only filled with weird people, places, and things to see around Rhode Island, but also sprinkled with limericks and bad pun photo captions. Think You’re The Only One is a collection of sixty-odd profiles of odd groups, a perfect book to adorn your bathroom reading rack. And Shards is my first novel**, about a programmer turned artist, his comedian friend, and begins on an up note.

Anyway, enough hawking of my writing and asking you to pay for it. My columns I give you for free, so here’s last week’s impassioned plea to help defend America from The War On Thanksgiving. And this week I discuss the Hostess with the Leastess.

On the boardgame front, playing lots of new boardgames has taken a backseat to playing the classics overflowing my shelves, while I’m trying to improve the design of the game I’m working on, “Legend of the Cipher”***. It’s been a lifelong goal to design a game, and this one is pretty fun to play, so I hope sometime next year it will be ready to share with the world.

*(“My word,” you exclaim, “I would never have expected that from the title!”)

**And technically, only novel. But don’t let that cheapen it for you.

***I met the LotC team when they were showing off an early version of the game at PAX East. A bit of my cipher may have been caught on film at that point, but I’m not proud enough of it to link to that. Anyway, the important part is, now I’m on the team, and there’s no I in team, although there is an I in blathering.

Yes, once again I decided to stay up all night after the debates and translate the entire thing into rhyme. I guess to some people that might seem like a ridiculous task, but honestly after spending a decade writing From God To Verse, an all-nighter spent translating a presidential debate is pretty much a lark for me. Granted, unlike GTV, this one is a summary and not a line-by-line translation, but I feel like I still hit all the important points.

Editor Bob Whitcomb, of the Providence Journal, was kind enough to post it on their New England blog, so I present:

2012 First Presidential Debate in Rhyme

Meanwhile, if you’re sick of politics even in rhyme, unlike the past few weeks, this week my column doesn’t mention anything political even once. It does, however, contain many bad jokes. So come receive your Punnish Mint.

Also, you may notice a new addition to my Books page. I’ll post a little more about that in a few weeks, since it’s not technically available for purchase yet, although there is currently a pre-order discount through that link for those of you who enjoy that sort of thing.

On the board game front, I’ve been chatting with some folks putting together a hip-hop-themed card game. As I’m joining their team somewhat belatedly, it’s unclear whether I will have a strong hand in redesigning the game, or simply wheedle my way into getting my own card, but either way I’m clearly the target demographic.

November 2012 is the official release date for my newest book about Rhode Island, but you can order it on Amazon now. (At the time of my writing this, it’s on discount, but that tends to fluctuate.) Unlike my previous Rhode Island book, this is a more serious historical book, covering historical events in Rhode Island from the founding of the state to the sewing of the World’s Biggest Sock.

Okay, so it's not all, like, super-serious.

But my point is, while my previous book about Rhode Island may have been about random silly things, and filled with whimsy in the form of pun-laden captions and ridiculous limericks, It Happened In Rhode Island is a more scholarly tome. Not, I should hasten to clarify, that this book is particularly academic, or high-minded. I just mean that I had to do actual research and write up historical events that happened in Rhode Island, and then the hardest part — leaving out all the puns, rhymes, and dumb jokes that I might have been tempted to make.

That being said, the book is still surprisingly entertaining. Which is to say, when I got my proof copy, after having written it and forgotten about it, I was surprised how entertained I was to read it. Granted, it’s easy to surprise someone with a terrible memory. But having stepped away from the research material for a bit, returning to read these little summaries of events was actually quite interesting. The book contains some “traditional history” that talks about the Great Swamp Massacre, Burning of the Gaspee, and some slightly more esoteric historical tidbits like General Burnsides.

But it also has more modern “historical” events, which include things like Babe Ruth’s first home run, and the moment when Bob Dylan put down the acoustic guitar and picked up the electric guitar instead. And of course, no book about Rhode Island would be complete without some stories of ridiculous RI politicians. Because they are ridiculous. Anyway, this is my newest book, and you should buy a copy for yourself to put in your bathroom along with Rhode Island Curiosities and Think You’re The Only One?, because it’s a bunch of interesting little 4-page stories, and they’re all true.

Just back from performing stand-up at a Chocolate Festival. This marks the first time I can recall where there were so many kinds of chocolate to sample, I became full before I’d even tried half of them. I definitely hope to go back next year, especially since the stand-up went well too. Here’s a joke I didn’t think was good enough to tell: I used to have blackberry bushes in my backyard, but then I found out my soil was contaminated with lead. So I tore out the bushes because I couldn’t stop eating the berries anyway. In retrospect, I could have used them to make Pb+J.*

So, my set was funnier than that. Speaking of food firsts, June also marks my first time making nime chow at home, a delightful experience I hope to repeat often, because yum, nime chow. My most recent local restaurant review was of a new Austrian place, and while I found it only mediocre, I’m pleased with my headline for the review.

Speaking of headlines**, my column this week was about Headline News, basically headline jokes the kind you might hear on a talk show. And the week before that I explain that my endeavors in comedy stem largely from the fact that I am seeking approval.

Game-wise, a friend lent us Through The Ages, and we have been playing it obsessively. As in, sometimes 4-5 times a week, which is a lot for a 3-hour game. We haven’t played a game this much since Goa. At some future point, I’ll have to review it, but I’ve only played a single multi-player game so I’m still holding off. Meanwhile, it’s an incredibly compelling 2-player experience, and always leaves me thinking, “Next time I’m going to try…”, which I believe is often a sign of a great game.

* Making puns about “lead” is very difficult in writing, since the pronunciation as “led” screws up a lot of the possibilities.

*** Which is another joke I decided to cut from my stand-up this time around.

All the stuff I was working on last post is now done. So that’s good. And now I have some inconvenient poetry for you. What does that mean? I’ll explain. Perhaps you’ve heard about the case at Cranston West, where a young student asked the school to take down a long-standing prayer banner, and a large kerfluffle ensued. Well, I wrote an epic limerick about this event, which was recently published in the Providence Journal. Unfortunately, Projo.com has recently removed their editorials from one-click access, so in order to read it you’ll need to go to the ProJo e-Edition, then go to the back issue for Sunday 2/12, and then jump to page B10.

If you like political poetry, I also wrote some sonnets about various pieces of legislation proposed in the past year. These are available in a single click at The Transcript, but will probably be taken down within a day or two, which is also inconvenient.*

Eventually I am going to do another boardgame review rap (which is a kind of poetry), but I have auctioned off the choice of next game, and the fellow who won chose some games I don’t have access to, so I am waiting for another friend who owns them to move back to town so playing said games will be convenient. In the meantime, I have put up a review of Homesteaders: Second Edition, which is a cool little auction game that avoids some common complaints/pitfalls of auction games.

And finally, it occurs to me that I have not written any new slam poetry in many months. Perhaps with my newfound free time, I should get around to finishing the poem I started a while ago. But I am no longer in the same mental space. How…inconvenient.

*If it’s any consolation, my more recent columns about Heroes and Valentine’s Day should be up for another week or two, respectively.

Seriously, you’re not.

My editor at the Transcript? He’s the boss of me, and I just finished a column for him so you can read my wisdom on things like The Secret of Happiness and The Republican Primaries.

My editor at the Eagle? She’s the boss of me, and today (well, technically yesterday) I finished an interview, which will be added to the restaurant review I have due this week.

My editor at Globe Pequot? She’s the boss of me, and it is for her that I have been working non-stop for the past few months, so I can get the draft of my next book in on deadline.

You? I didn’t promise you anything in exchange for money, so if some of my writing is going to be short-changed, guess where.

More here in February, I promise.

Let’s start with food*. Labor Day weekend was delightful for me because I got to eat tasty food with a variety of old friends. But the biggest food news this month is a new hip-hop album. Torrentz, the rap supergroup I sometimes work with, has released a food-themed album called The Big Kahuna. I’ve got verses on a couple songs. Every track on this album is food-related hip-hop, and the whole album is free to download. Which means if you don’t hate hip-hop and food, you should give it a listen to see if you like it.

Finances are tricky. Mine, naturally, remain sub-optimal**. But I wrote an epic limerick about the crumbling finances of America, which was recently published in the Providence Journal under the title of Debt Be Not Proud.

Still, I’m mostly trying to focus on having fun***. September is our annual Alphabetic Boardgaming Challenge, which we’re currently right in the middle of. By far my most anticipated gaming event of any year, and one of my favorite events of the year overall. For those of you wonder if having to write about games as a job has diminished my enjoyment of board gaming: Nope.

Speaking of fun, I’m still enjoying the other comedic stuff I’m doing. My most recent humor column was a Back to School Glossary for the young and old. And between working with my improv troupe and doing stand-up comedy, I have a number of performances coming up — including a fundraiser for some folks in Williamstown who were displaced from their homes due to Hurricane Irene and the associated flooding.

Sometimes it’s hard to write a good conclusion****.

* If I had a nickel for every time I said this, I’d be a wealthy man.

**** If I had a nickel for every time I said this,….

No, that’s not a typo. I don’t make tyops.* I’m talking about Woe. As in, Woe is Me. Or to explain more accurately, Mug of Woe, the hilarious new book of true embarrassing** stories, includes a story by yours truly. Also, their website has a spotlighted contributor each week, and this week it is me. So go take a look at the site for Mug of Woe, and if you’re looking for a “Chicken Poop for the Soul” sort of book, consider getting yourself a copy. (After you buy all of my books, if you don’t already own them. Priorities.)

Anyway, we’re now in August. I’ve always liked August, but I have to admit, August is a weird month. One of those months in the middle you sort of skip over in planning, because it’s neither summer nor fall. Well, I didn’t skip over it entirely. I played lots of board games. Yet more Scepter of Zavandor (a favorite), some Gates of Loyang, and some Nightfall. Speaking of boardgames, I am still writing both boardgame strategy and boardgame reviews.

But I’ll admit, I’m excited that we’re only one month away from the Fourth Annual Alphabetic Boardgaming Challenge. Related to gaming, but unrelated to boards, I just have to say the announced always-online requirement for Diablo III significantly reduces the chances I’ll end up buying the game at full price. When I play D2 and BNet keeps dropping me, I can still play single-player instead. Worthwhile purchase. Without that option… not so much. (RMAH, on the other hand, I do not care about.)

Also I like cheese. The other night my partner made dinner and told me, “Yo dawg, I heard you liked cheese, so I put some cheese on your cheese…” I am a lucky man.

*I like that this is one letter away from “tyoops”, which makes me think someone is in the middle of typing a quick thank-you to someone when they accidentally knock a pile of papers off their desk.

***I would prefer an Otto-spell-checker, wherein a German man with a big bushy moustache looks over my shoulder and points to each mistake and says, “Das ist wronk!” (I am presuming that “wronk” is German for “wrong”, based on my knowledge of German that comes from bad action films.)

June seems to have escaped me. Which makes me feel lame because it should not be that difficult for me to make one post a month. And yet, here we are. I suppose I could have done some backdating* and pretended I was on time, but June just flew by and I have to admit it.

To be fair, part of the reason is that I spent the last week of June in California at my brother’s wedding. You could read about my anticipation of the trip or even some of my trip highlights. But basically, the weather was consistently nice, there was copious tasty Mexican food, and my brother got married.

Now it’s back home, and trying to catch up on everything I’ve fallen behind on. Thankfully I managed to write the latter column while on vacation, and had finished my June submissions to the About.com boardgame site before I left, but I still feel like I wasn’t done with June yet. June could get 40 days, and that would be okay**.

Meanwhile, it’s not as if I’m starting July yet. Coming off the tail of a flight, I now have friends from afar in visiting for the 4th of July festivities.*** So it’ll probably be mid-July before I settle down and re-engage with the world around me. But in the meantime, there are copious amounts of food, friends, and fireworks, and two out of three ain’t bad.

*Not to be confused with Back Dating.