My back still hurts a little from repeatedly clearing all the snow out of my driveway, but mercifully it was cold enough to remain as powder snow, since we all know there’s nothing worse than ice.*

In case you were also tired of shoveling snow and wanted a song to express your frustrations, I have assembled a quick guide on how to write a parody song, complete with lots of suggestions for songs you could be singing for morale while shoveling your driveway.**

Meanwhile it remains very cold, so I bid you all warmth.***

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* (insert your own litany of curse-words and gestapo references here)

** or ideally, while shoveling my driveway, which would certainly be excellent for my morale.

*** unless you are part of the racist pedophile regime, in which case, I bid you posthumous warmth.