Hi, people not living in 2004! I wrote this page six years ago, and should probably update or delete it. I'm not sure the whole "Buy me a lime!" concept is still funny. Then again, the article below was recently reprinted, so it's possible that in spite of the vast amount of writing and performing I've done, I will remain most famous for that article about my failure as a human being.

    Seth Brown is an experienced humor writer. He is the co-founder of the Mad Cow humor magazine, and previously held a weekly political humor column in the Providence Journal (Rhode Island's largest paper) for three years. His work has appeared in various publications ranging from GenerationJ.com to the Berkshire Advocate. He frequently appears in the Washington Post's Style Invitational, and his first book "Think You're The Only One" was published in October 2004.

    In spite of all this, he is completely incapable of feeding himself properly in order to stay alive:

In which I win the Washington Post's Most Distinguished Ultra-Male Behavior Award

    After reading that, you are no doubt asking yourself, "How can I help?" Simple:

Buy me a Lime!*

*Your contribution will be used to purchase healthy food, so Seth does not accidentally die. Healthy food shall be understood to include vegetables, fruits, orange juice, milk, and low-fat proteins, and to exclude ice cream, chocolate, cookies, pasta, peanut butter, jelly, white bread, potatoes, cans of beans, cheese (*sniffle*), and fryin' oil.

    Seth Brown is an experienced humor writer. He... oh wait, we already said that. If charity is not your game, why not buy yourself some poetry from an acclaimed master? Seth Brown was the winner of BBSpot.com's 2003 Annual Geek Limerick contest, the 2001 Class Poet at Williams College, the Poet Laureate of the Williams Debate Society, a Contributing Editor of the OED In Limerick Form, and can rhyme with orange. Even famed columnist Dan Savage has blessed Seth with fulsome praise: "A limerick... takes real skill, talent and discipline. Let Seth Brown be an example to you. He's is an impressive young man and poet who we will be hearing more from, God willing." So how much does this genius cost you? A buck a line. And that's much cheaper than cocaine. (That's $5 per stanza, for the layman. A normal limerick is 1 stanza, but if you want to pay me for a multi-stanza epic limerick, I won't stop you.)

Buy yourself a Limerick!**

**Please submit your chosen sobriequet, email address, and the topic for your limerick. Limericks may be shared, but please give attribution.