Ham-STAR: Best hamster rapper ever. And originally a gift from a thoughtful friend.The Tale of Ham-STAR


It began when an old friend introduced me to a rapping hamster. He was still spitting out someone else's words back in those days, so I had to convince him to get some new lyrics. Once we'd done that and gotten him a cool logo, I figured he was on the path to fame. He even applied to Blackalicious and attempted to break into the recording industry.

Although his application was eventually denied, he was not discouraged. Ham-STAR is a patient man. He decided to bide his time, and eventually teamed up with the late DJ Phonicoid (RIP) to produce one killer track. The track was released on the first Rhyme Torrents compilation CD, launching a music career of which the pinnacle was probably this Dungeons and Dragons rap video.





  • Various Happenstances of Seth - My old journal from my old website. Spartan page design, meaningless rambles. You know you love it.

  • The Style Invitational - Some weeks it doesn't contain me, but try not to read it during those weeks.

  • The OEDILF - Omnificent English Dictionary In Limerick Form. Just a few in my showcase, but I've written well over 100 limericks on the site.

  • Email me.



  • Bonedancer.com - The official website of Tom Stackpole. In addition to producing the Ham-STAR logo and the caricature you see on my front page, he is an excellent artist currently focusing on comics.

  • We Miss You, Mark - Website for the too-early late Mark Seiler. In addition to producing the music for the Ham-STAR rap, he was an incredible DJ, moby's biggest fan, and the producer of the tightest scratch record ever.

  • The Lex Files - Blog of comedy mastermind Lex Friedman. In addition to co-writing humor and co-teaching improv comedy with me, Lex has so many humor credits that I can't list them all here.

  • Ben Birney is a talented composer with whom I co-wrote a musical a number of years ago. He also wrote the musical version of Paradise Lost.

  • Danny Gallagher is a humor writer so edgey that I worry about cutting myself when I'm near him. We're going to work on some things, as soon as the stars realign.


    Poetry.com is a scam.

    Linking to them only helps them, so I haven't, but here is some useful information about their scam. Basically you enter their poetry contest, get told that you're a finalist regardless of your poem, and then they ask you to buy the book, attend the convention, and generally shell out lots of money to celebrate your achievement. Fairly devious, given the number of wanna-be poets out there. Well, I did enter years ago before I knew it was a scam, but thankfully found out before I spent any money. However, now knowing that whatever I write will gain finalist status, I've entered a poem or two purely for amusement value more recently. Alas, gone from their website is Tyson's classic entry "Lollipop of Endless Darkness", but here's the letter I got (still unopened) congratulating me on the finalist status of my latest poem:

Why bother opening it? I already know what's inside.


Okay, not my best work, but I'm a sucker for acrostics.