Various Happenstances of Seth
May 4, 2005
Well, that'll teach me to post about
my column not being killed. The day after last post, the new editor
emailed me to say actually, he's going to cut back on the frequency
of my column. And not have any particular schedule for when it will
appear. So it may end up being on every third Freublesday after
all. As always in comedy, Timing is everything*.
Anyway, speaking of comedy, let me share a joke:
A fellow calls up his friend and
says, "Hey, your cat died." The friend says, "Geez,
you didn't have to hit me with that so harshly, you should break
it to me gently. You should have called me up and said, 'Hey,
your cat's up on the roof.' Then a week later, you call me up
and say, 'Hey, your cat fell off the roof and injured himself,
we had to take him to the hospital.' The next week, you call
me up and say, 'Hey, your cat isn't doing too well.' Then
a few weeks later, you can let me know that he died."
So a month later, this fellow calls up his friend and says, "Hey,
your mom's up on the roof."
Ah, nothing like jokes for Mother's
Day. In fact, in addition to mocking my ill-timed optimism about
my column, the title of this page comes from a similar joke: An
army sergeant is taking roll, and says, "By the way, Michaels,
your mother died." The General pulls the Sergeant aside
and says, "Sergeant, these privates have feelings, you can't
just callously tell them that a loved one has died. Try to break
it to them easy." So, the following week the Sergeant is
taking roll call and says, "Right, everyone whose mother
is still alive, step forward..."
*and Proper capiTalization isN't.
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