WordPress Rap

(A rough demo just to hear the tune if you like: wpdemo )


** CHORUS **
CSS, RSS, CSS, RSS, CSS, RSS,
Yes I confess, WordPress is the best.

Now CSS stands for custom style sheet,
And the panoply of options is just a mile deep.
So, you build the website, and trust that I’ll keep
Droppin’ sweet rhymes while we bust a vile beat.

Use php includes, don’t use frames.
It’s the 21st century, stop being lame.
Frames and an autoplay midi embed, what’s next,
Pastel bunnies and blinking glitter text?

I’m vexed, like a vexing arcanix.
You need to learn about modern website mechanics.
Don’t panic! You’re not in trouble, you see,
It’s all under control with the WP.

** CHORUS **
CSS, RSS, CSS, RSS, CSS, RSS,
Yes I confess, WordPress is the best

So those other letters, let’s get back to them,
Because RSS is an acronym.
RSS: Really simple syndication,
Sending your site’s stuff all across the nation

And even internationally across the globe –
So much exposure it makes your head explode.
But the problem with this increased bandwidth is
You get spam in many different languages.

I get comments that I can’t even read.
Spam from every country? Yes indeed.
If I can’t read it, I don’t need it, I delete it.
But ads that are in English get me heated:

Asian girls are beautiful!
Russian Pharmaceuticals!
New Swedish product will
Clean up your cuticles!

I been dutiful,
Clicked on each link.
Ain’t slept in a week,
No time to think.

And although I almost hesitate to mention,
I even got some messages in French in:
Vous voudrais vu a menage
a trois a la plage?
Clickez-vouz ici!

Nope, Bon Voyage!

** CHORUS **

CSS, RSS, CSS, RSS, CSS, RSS,
Oui, je confess WordPress est le beste.

All those spam comments had me buggin’,
Until I downloaded the Akismet Plug-in
Yes, Akismet’s what I apply,
And I kiss my  spam goodbye.

Spammers in the comments are something that I hate,
So the Akismet plug-in seemed like Ah-fate.
But wait,  Got this comment just the other night:
“Very informative. Interesting site!”

It’s true that the post seems mostly innocuous
But there’s something suspicious; I’m on top of this,
‘Cause I’m frugal with my comment approval.
Copy that sentence and paste it into Google.

Well, look! Thousands of the same comment, damn,
I guess that one gets Marked As Spam.
Ham-STAR gonna drop the Akismet bomb,
And you can see it on my site, RisingPun.com.

** CHORUS **
C SS R SS  C SS R SS  C SS R SS
Yes I confess, WordPress is the best.